And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm always down for nudity.
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