My sheets look like a crime scene.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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