do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
