the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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