considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
