i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
