my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
