IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
