im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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