She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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