call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
