"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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