im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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