Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
