I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
