wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
