It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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