I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
