i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
