it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
