I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
