he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
