Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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