i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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