Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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