ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
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