I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
