i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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