I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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