For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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