Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
