I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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