Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it was like eating out sand paper
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
