she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We left the knife in your bed.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
