Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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