what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
