You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Sacagawea was the original milf.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
