If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
