you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The adults are the big ones right?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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