He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
