Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
