i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
