Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
