I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
