enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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