and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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