I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
