dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
