What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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