Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
