garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
